Let Go to Let Grow, and Offerings of Response

Wednesday Pause

Wednesday Pause

A website I recently stumbled on stopped me dead in my tracks.

Let Grow—a parenting resource encouraging adults to nurture greater degrees of independence in their kids—had a captivating paragraph upfront and center on their home page:

“We believe today’s kids are smarter and stronger than our culture gives them credit for … give kids the independence they need to grow into capable, confident, and happy adults. When we let go we… Let Grow.”

And there it was—the profound sentence that gave me pause: when we let go, we let grow. 

Because that’s the thing, isn’t it? We all have areas of life we hold tight. We all have people we love and care for. We all have things we want to protect, but when faced with fear, we respond with overprotection. Parents aren’t the only ones who hover.

  • We hover over solutions when trapped by problems.

  • We hover over security when faced with uncertainty.

  • We hover over plans when we feel a loss of control.

It’s instinctively normal for us to reach for something—anything—that will give us a sense of assuredness when self-preservation kicks in. But just like how Let Grow is aiming to help parents see acts of independence as extensions of growth, nurturing our faith in the soul work of letting go looks a whole lot the same:

  • To let go of answers so questions can grow.

  • To let go of security so curiosity can grow.

  • To let go of fighting so acceptance can grow.

  • To let go of resistance so tenderness can grow.

  • To let go of doubt so hope can grow.

For me personally—full disclosure—my own soul work right now involves letting go of immediacy so perseverance can grow.

It’s hard, isn’t it? I feel you.

But perhaps it doesn't have to be as scary as it initially presents itself to be.

Perhaps the greatest invitation in this area of soul work is not in focusing on the loss of having to give something up, but in seeing the gain of growth from that which is beginning to emerge.

I let go to let grow. 

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As you explore today’s intermission and sit with the prompts in today’s Pause, may I invite you to consider the following question at this particular time in your spiritual journey?

“I let go of __________________ so that __________________ can grow.”

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” —James 1:2-4 [1]

—With Joy

Spiritual Director
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Pause for Thought

“Our birth is a death. We leave the only world we know, the strange, dark, watery, secure world of our mother's womb and we pass into a baffling, noisy, colorful world beyond it. Given the choice, we would not leave the womb and would probably not believe in the existence of the fabled world that lay beyond it. We come to life only by letting go.” [2]

—Michael Walker

Pause for Practice

For the following practice, use your hands as symbolic representation of your answers to the opening question. 1. With eyes closed, settle into a rhythm of breathing, and find a few moments of quiet. 2. Invite God’s presence. Allow God’s presence to bring to mind an answer to the following question: “I let go of __________________ so that __________________ can grow.” 3. Hold space. 4. With your word, picture, or phrase in mind, clench your hands into two tightly closed fists, visualizing the word as you’re squeezing. 5. After counting to five, release your fists slowly to a fully extended position, saying out loud: “I let go of __________________ so that __________________ can grow.” Repeat as often as needed.

—Clenched & Opened Prayer

Pause for Examination

Read the following Liturgy by author Douglas McKelvey, slowly and meditatively. When a word or phrase resonates, pause and offer a prayer of response: “I offer my __________.”

“In your presence I can offer my questions, knowing you are never threatened by my uncertainties. They do not change your truth. My doubts cannot unseat your promises.

You are a rock, O Christ, and your truth is a bulwark that I might dash myself against, until my strength is spent and I collapse at last in despair, only then to feel the tenderness of your embrace as you stoop to gather me to yourself, drawing me to your breast and cradling me there, where I find I am held again by a love that even my doubts cannot undo.

O Lord, how many times have you graciously led me through doubt into a deeper faith? Do so again, my Lord and my God! Even now. Do so again!”

Amen. [3]

—An Offering of Response
  • [1] James 1:2-4, NLT.

  • [2] “Human and Spiritual Development” in Spirituality and Human Wholeness by Michael Walker, рр. 72-73; The Lion Christian Meditation Collection by Hannah Ward and Jennifer Wild, Necessary Losses [1.59], p. 51.

  • [3] Every Moment Holy, by Douglas McKelvey, A Liturgy for Nights & Days of Doubt, pp.169-170; adapted for brevity.

  • The soul work of letting go, illustrated art by Dustin Heigh

P.S. Let’s be real. Sometimes letting go is messy 😂.